Right now would be a great time to trade places with Melanie Oudin, if even for a minute. Ranked 70th at the start of the 2009 US Open, Oudin was pretty much an anonymous competitor. But she pushed on to the quarterfinals following three comeback victories over higher-ranking, seasoned pros. Throughout the competition and still today, her mental toughness is continuously lauded by competitors, coaches and game veterans.

At 17, I barely knew how to recover from a break-up, let alone how to make a comeback after a 1-6 loss in the first set at Ashe Stadium. Watching Oudin made me look at my own mental toughness as a novice player in the ad industry. At 24, I still found it difficult to bounce back after losing my very first client -– my first professional break-up. As I transitioned to a brand new client and a different account team, I was well prepared to tackle the fast-paced projects. But the mental adjustment didn’t come as easily to me.

That’s the thing about mental game: you rarely think about developing those muscles until you really need them. As I was learning new tasks, I didn’t question whether my mental game was improving, too. Agencies have training programs that teach you how to collaborate, write creative briefs, lead brainstorms, etc., but there is no surefire cure for recouping after a long day of fighting fires. There’s no formula for getting to know a new client. These intangible skills come with time -– after we’ve lived a little.

Maybe as novice players we focus so much on learning from those around us that we overlook what we can teach ourselves. We can improve our mental game if we regularly challenge ourselves to think beyond the lessons we’re learning, to think about what we’re doing well, what we’ll remember to do next time. Reflect on these experiences and how they shape the kind of managers and leaders we want to be, so we’ll be ready as opportunities arise.

We can’t take for granted that mental toughness will come along with all the other skills we’re learning. We have to make a specific effort and work at it if we want to be great someday. And I do.