Silver, Zack and myself recently took a creative team building trip to Turner Falls. Perhaps I should clarify a bit: it was a “team building trip” in that we often work as a team, we built stuff (large fires mostly) and it did require taking a short trip of about 100 miles north to Pauls Valley, Oklahoma.

Here’s our story in pictures:

Early on, we made a pact to eat only red meat for the rest of the trip. This seemed like a right manly idea at the time. The consequences however, would be most unfortunate for one of us.

First thing Saturday morning, we made our way to our boat for a little fishing…

They tell me that, as the boat did have an actual motor,
my constant “vvvvvvvvvvvrrrrrrrrr” sound effects were superfluous

2 minutes later, Silver catches a fish (which may or may not have been embiggened in Photoshop).

4 minutes later, I start to catch something else. Thankfully, knowing my general intolerance for red meat, I plained for such an eventuality and brought my tiny pink buddy aboard. The day was saved.

Fast forward another few minutes and the day was in fact not saved nor was my pride…

I think news of this event had reached all of Firehouse some 30 seconds later. (Thanks, jerks)
For the record: I made it (barely)

After a long day in the sun, the only proper way to finish the evening is with a sugary, fruity boat drink (indefinite article used to protect the guilty):

When boat drinks come together with the great outdoors, things happen. For example: New and creative (albeit not all that effective) pest-control methods are explored…

…talents are revealed…

Not only can Zack juggle, he can juggle while wearing a delightfully-ironic t-shirt.
“Coke is it,” indeed, sir!

…man’s deep connection to fire is explored anew…

Perhaps too much lighter fluid? Maybe.

…flash lights turn into light sabers (of course)…

…eyebrows are torched…

…and light itself becomes a form of artistic expression.

We were trying to spell “association” but ran out of flashlight batteries. Honest

That night, we heard what sounded like a sasquatch arguing with a chainsaw while riding a 12-horse-power riding lawnmower echoing from the canyon walls. Come daybreak, it was discovered that this creature was the source of the ungodly cacophony:

The silver-back couchsquatch’s legendary growl (some might call it a “snore”) is most terrifying
to those unaccustomed to it’s siren’s call.

I think, based upon all the evidence collected over the course of a fantastical weekend, I can confidently say that team building is far more effective when boat drinks and fire are substituted for PowerPoint slides and stale pastries.

Of course, PowerPoint slides, no matter how poorly-formated, won’t cost you an eyebrow. Then again, eyebrows grow back, so given the choice, I’ll take my chances with fire any day.